Blessed
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: As much as Yukine enjoys all the praise for becoming a hafuri—and especially enjoys rubbing it in his master's face—something rubs him the wrong way about how his newfound status reflects on Yato. Really, he had been so sure that Yato was the one who was going to embarrass them at the colloquy.


It was the first colloquy of the gods that Yato was allowed to attend now that he had a shrine, and the idiot god had been—quite literally—bouncing off the walls in excitement. Yukine was a bit less enthusiastic. Dealing with a bunch of stuffy gods and their uptight shinki didn't sound as fun as actually getting a job and possibly making some money for once, and he just _knew_ that Yato was going to cause a scene and embarrass them by acting a fool. Like usual.

But despite some token grumbling, he tolerated Yato's childish antics as they headed up to Takamagahara and tried not to think about how much he would rather be hanging out with Hiyori or killing ayakashi or digging his eyes out with a spoon.

"Could you at least _try_ to behave for once?" he muttered as they entered the building and found their way to a large room filled with scores of gods and shinki waiting for the colloquy to begin. Great, he would be stuck waiting out here while Yato made a nuisance of himself during the meeting. Fun.

"Oh, I am on my _best_ behavior," Yato said with a toothy grin. His eyes flashed bright with mischief.

Somehow, Yukine was not reassured. "When they kick you out and tell you not to come back, I'm going to say I told you so."

Yato flapped a dismissive hand. "Lighten up, Yukine. You're such a bore sometimes. Besides, I'm _totally_ going to behave. Oh, hey, look! Food!"

There was a table set up on the other side of the room with refreshments, and he took off like a speeding bullet, shoving aside gods and shinki alike in his rush. Yukine resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Yato chattered loudly—with his mouth full, no less—to the other gods hanging around and totally savaged the food. No one looked particularly amused. Yato was not making friends this way, and Yukine almost wanted to sigh and tell him to just settle down and act more normally if he wanted people to like him.

"Oh, great," Bishamon grumbled as she and Kazuma materialized nearby. "Who let _him_ in here?"

"If everyone doesn't hate him yet, they will by the time he's through here," Yukine said pessimistically.

"I can already tell that the colloquy is going to take ten times as long as usual with him interrupting every other word…"

"That sounds exactly like him."

Kazuma cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should try to rein him in, Yukine. You _are_ his exemplar. I know he can make things a bit difficult, but… Well, he's so used to being a loner that he could use some tips on how to behave in polite company."

"Yeah, well. He's never listened to pointers like that before." Still, Yukine sighed and headed for the table with great reluctance.

He didn't make it far before being waylaid by that stupid thunder god again.

"Oh, is that your master over there making a fool of himself?" Takemikazuchi asked with an unfriendly smile. He slid his gaze sideways to his shinki, eyes cold. "Really, Kiun, what's stopping you from becoming a hafuri when even _that_ idiot can get one? Ah, it's really too bad. Such a blessed regalia is totally wasted on such a worthless, no-name god."

Kiun stayed as unruffled as usual, but his stupid master's outburst drew everyone else's attention. And suddenly there were a bunch of gods and shinki Yukine didn't even know fawning over him and studying him like he was a curious creature beneath their microscope. He ground his teeth together so hard it felt like they might crack.

On the one hand, it was flattering to get so much praise and attention…and it was always fun to rub that in Yato's face. And, even better, it was especially flattering when Yato bragged about Yukine himself, eyes shining with pride like his hafuri was the most special shinki in all the world. Still, the absolute best was when Yato simply asked Yukine what he should do and then followed his advice because _"Well, I trust my exemplar, so it must be the right thing to do!"_

There were also times when all the attention could get more than a little annoying. As flattering as it could be, Yukine didn't always enjoy getting mobbed. And something about how everyone talked about Yato rubbed him the wrong way. Bishamon and any other god with a hafuri would be praised and envied for being such a devoted master and having such a devoted regalia. With Yukine and Yato, it was different.

"Wow, it's amazing that you became a hafuri. But for such a useless minor god?"

"How did such a worthless god of calamity get a hafuri like that?"

"Really, that's amazing! How did you do it? And why for _him_?"

"Here, why don't you work for me instead? I can give you much more than your fool of a master."

"Hafuri are rare enough as it is—it's practically an injustice to see one wasted on the likes of _him_."

For Bishamon and Kazuma, the praise went both ways. After all, only an exceptional god could get an exceptional hafuri, and a hafuri was something to be treasured by its god.

So yes, Yukine was a little bit vain and liked to be praised sometimes. But it bothered him to hear everyone put Yato down in the same breath. Yato might be silly and lazy and frustrating, but he was _Yukine's_ silly, lazy, frustrating god. And despite his many flaws, he wasn't worthless.

"And for a noragami, even."

Yukine's breath caught in his throat. Noragami? His hands clenched into fists, knuckles going white and nails cutting into his palms. Being a nora was insulting enough for a shinki, something detested and reviled. To apply such a label to a god? To _Yukine's_ god? Unthinkable.

All Yukine could see in his mind was the stunned look on Yato's face when Hiyori handed him that tiny handmade shrine, the tears that had filled his eyes and run down his cheeks—not his stupid, cheesy crying, but real, genuine tears. It had meant so much to Yato to finally get a shrine and win a place, however small, with the other gods, he had been so excited to come here and be included for once, and these idiots were _ruining it_.

"Stop it!" Yukine snarled. His eyes flashed with fury, and the myriad gods and shinki clustered around him drew back in surprise. "How dare you? Lots of shinki die or are willing to sacrifice their name for their god, but very few of them ever become hafuri. Do you know why?" His gaze caught on Bishamon and Kazuma watching from the outskirts, both blinking at him in surprise, and something clicked in his mind. "Shinki are reflections of their masters. It goes both ways.

"Yato saved me first. He almost died for me first. He gave me a second chance, third chance, twentieth chance when none of you would have. He wanted me when no one else did. You want your shinki to die for you? Are you willing to die for them? Are you willing to give them the same loyalty you want from them? What kind of shinki would declare unwavering, eternal loyalty to a god who didn't deserve it?

"Only an _exceptional_ god can have a hafuri, so maybe it isn't Yato who is the worthless god. Maybe _you_ are. He's better than any of you. If I'm a blessed regalia, it's because I'm blessed to have him for a master."

Yukine stood there, fists clenched, breathing heavily as he glared at the objects of his ire. Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice sighed that he had been so sure it was _Yato_ who was going to make a fool of himself and cause a scene, but right now Yukine only saw red and he didn't care.

"Yu…kine?"

He startled and spun around. Yato was standing behind him looking taken aback, eyes wide and luminous and puzzled.

Heat flooded Yukine's face. He crossed his arms protectively over his chest and glared at the ground. "D-don't let it go to your head."

Everything seemed so quiet now, and he wanted to sink through the floor.

Then Yato laughed. "What are you getting so worked up for, kiddo?"

Yukine scowled. "I'm supposed to protect you," he muttered.

Yato patted his head like he was a small child or puppy, and Yukine risked a glance up to see a silly grin on his master's face. "And you're very good at it, but why don't you stick to protecting me from ayakashi rather than words. Relax, Yukine. It's the same stuff everyone has been saying for hundreds of years. I barely even notice anymore!"

"It wouldn't bother me if you didn't believe it," Yukine said, batting his hand away.

That vaguely puzzled expression crept over Yato's face again. "Huh?"

 _"All I'm ever good for is cutting things up… Is there even a way for me to change?"_

 _"…Disappointed? Are you sick of me yet?"_

 _"The choice is now yours, Yukine. Will you still remain as my blessed regalia?"_

Maybe Yukine had known, deep down somewhere in his chest, that Yato was more insecure than he seemed, but he had let the dumb, goofy façade trick him almost up to the point where he'd finally learned part of the truth about the past.

"Because you believe it!" Yukine shoved Yato's chest hard, sending him stumbling back a half-pace. "You act all stupid and goofy with all your big dreams and your huge ego, but you believe it too! And I'm telling you that you're _wrong_. It's not _fair_."

Silence. Yato blinked at him once, twice. The expression on his face was unreadable. Then he grabbed Yukine's elbow and steered him through the crowd of onlookers.

"Come, Yukine. Excuse us."

Yukine went without a fight, gaze glued to the ground. Every pair of shoes he walked past made his heart tighten more. Hot tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as the enormity of what he had done finally caught up to him.

Shinki represented their gods, and Yukine had just thrown a tantrum in front of everyone. He just _knew_ that it would somehow reflect badly on both of them. And he had thrown out such personal things, airing them to the world. Things Yato didn't want anyone to know or suspect.

Yukine had just publicly humiliated them both—normally Yato's job—and he had the feeling that his outburst had opened an ugly can of worms.

Yato guided him out the door and a short ways down the hall before releasing him.

"I'm sorry," Yukine said with a sniffle, rubbing his sleeve across his eyes. "I didn't mean to…"

"What's wrong, Yukine?" Yato turned his back on the hallway leading back to the chamber and dragged Yukine around to face him. Serious, worried eyes searched the shinki's face.

"Nothing," Yukine muttered, his gaze sliding off to the side.

"Your nothing hurts an awful lot." Yato raised a hand to rub absently at his chest. "You feel unstable today. Did something happen?"

Stupid, dense god, worried that Yukine's outburst had stemmed from his own personal troubles. It was an earnest question, just like every other time Yato encouraged Yukine to divulge his troubles to save them both pain in the end.

 _Is it really that hard to believe that I might just be worried about_ you _?_

"They called you a noragami," Yukine mumbled to the floor.

"Oh… Does it bother you because of Nora? I released her because I only want _you_ , Yukine. You shouldn't listen to what she says. Has she been bothering you again? You tell me if she's giving you trouble."

What an idiot.

"It bothers me because they _called you a noragami_. As if you're anything like _them_."

"Oh…" Yato still sounded vaguely puzzled and not sufficiently upset, as if he didn't quite understand the significance. "Well, sure, it's pretty rude, but it's not really anything new." He scratched his head and let out a self-deprecating laugh with a hint of humor. "Anyway, they aren't entirely wrong. I _am_ sort of a stray god, without a place. Even a little bit like a nora, if you think about it. I'm a tool used for the dirty jobs, I go by different names for different things, you could even say I sometimes have divided loyalties. I mean…I'm trying to change that, right? But there's no need to get so worked up over it. It's just the way it is."

"You… _idiot!_ " Yukine shook his head and found enough fire to look up and glare directly at his master. "You are _not_ , and it's _not_ okay. You're annoying and a real pain and lazy and ridiculous, but I'm tired of them treating you like you're just some worthless god of calamity or something!"

Yato tilted his head, eyes wide and curious. "I _am_ a god of calamity."

"No, you _aren't_. You're a god of…everything, actually. A god of war and cleaning bathrooms and killing ayakashi and babysitting and– And you're on your way to becoming a god of fortune, right? All that calamity business is in the past."

"A god is born of a wish," Yato explained patiently. "A god born of a calamitous wish is a god of calamity."

"But–"

"Do you know the wish I was born of?" Yato's eyes went hard and cold, twin chips of razor-edged ice gleaming an eerie electric blue. Yukine swallowed hard. " _Cull the herd_."

Yukine stepped back, eyes going wide. "That's…"

"Horrible, I know." One corner of Yato's mouth quirked into a tired half-smile, and the blue of his eyes faded and warmed. He sighed and leaned back against the wall, kicking one foot back against the hard surface and crossing his arms over his chest as he frowned at the facing wall. "It's not that easy, Yukine. It's in my nature. And no matter how much I try to change, it's not so easy to go free. Don't you think I've tried? Father will tire of my rebellion sooner or later and start playing games with me again.

"I'm believed in—such as that is—as a god of calamity. I can't cut it as a delivery god or god of fortune or anything like that, because that's not what I was made to be. And any god who knows how I was or can sense it on me will know and act accordingly."

Yukine's fingers dug into his sides, bunching the fabric of his shirt and pinching flesh. "We probably shouldn't talk about him here."

"Hm?" Yato tilted his head and then smiled. "No, probably not."

"So…you're just giving up, then?"

"Of course not! I'm not a quitter." Yato half-turned his body, shoulder pressing against the wall to keep his balance, and grinned at Yukine. "Besides, my guidepost is lighting the way, so I'm just following!"

The flush crept back to Yukine's face and he dropped his gaze again, even though a small warmth fluttered in his chest. "You don't always have to act all weird and silly to cover everything up."

"Well…I _am_ pretty weird and silly."

"I know, I know, but sometimes you do it to hide stuff. Because then you'll just casually throw something out about being useless or bringing misfortune to everyone or asking if I'd rather leave or–" Yukine huffed out a shaky breath that was halfway a laugh and blinked back tears. "I'd take your stupid ego and ridiculous dreams about a hundred shrines and a billion followers a thousand times over as long as you actually believed them."

Yato pouted. "Aw, you're always stomping on my dreams."

"That's not… Stop being deliberately obtuse!" Yukine scrubbed at his eyes and looked up again.

He almost lost his train of thought when he spotted Bishamon and Kazuma hovering awkwardly several paces down the hall. Judging by their strangely twisted expressions, they had been standing there for a while.

But Yukine didn't want to let this moment go just because some busybodies had shown up—it wasn't always easy to get Yato to have a serious conversation, and this was the closest they might have for a long time. He would rather get everything out there while he could instead of leaving it all unsaid, and he wished that Yato would follow his own advice for once and share his troubles instead of shouldering everything alone.

"You were just so happy when Hiyori made you the shrine," he mumbled, dropping his voice on the off chance Bishamon and Kazuma wouldn't be able to hear him. "You were really excited about finally being able to do all these things. And it made me angry that those jerks were ruining it for you."

Yato blinked at him and then smirked. "Aw, you _do_ care."

"I'm being serious! It's not okay for them to call you worthless or a noragami or anything like that, because it's not true, okay?"

"But you also call me worthless and useless and lazy and stupid and–"

Yukine groaned, hoping Yato was taking this more seriously than he was acting. "Okay, but you know when I don't mean it. Only _I'm_ allowed to call you that. They don't know you like I do."

Yato nodded slowly with a thoughtful expression on his face, as if it all suddenly made sense. "Of course. You and Hiyori and Daikoku and Tenjin and Tomone and that crazy psycho bit–"

"She's standing right behind you," Yukine interrupted, giving up on getting through to his idiot god.

"Huh?" Yato's head whipped around, and he pushed himself away from the wall when he spotted the onlookers paralyzed by indecision down the hall. "Hey, look who it is!" he said brightly, waving with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm. "What can we do for you?"

Bishamon and Kazuma exchanged a long look before walking the last few feet to come into normal conversational range.

Bishamon cleared her throat awkwardly. "We just wanted to check that things were okay after… Well, we wanted to make sure _Yukine_ was okay," she amended, rallying and managing to scrounge up a halfhearted glower for Yato.

"Yukine is okay! He just didn't sleep well last night. He sure does get cranky when he doesn't get enough sleep!"

"Uh… Yato?" Yukine let out a breath. "I think they've been standing there the whole time."

"Oh… Really?" Yato scratched his head, face scrunching up thoughtfully as the gears in his brain turned. Then his face lit up again. "He didn't sleep for _two_ days! So he's _extra_ cranky!"

Yukine facepalmed. "How are you such an idiot?"

Bishamon and Kazuma were giving each other those weird looks again.

"Well, you sure did cause a scene," Bishamon said finally.

Yato grinned and flung an arm around Yukine's shoulders. "That's my kid for you! Throwing tantrums in front of all the big-shot gods!"

"Get off," Yukine grumbled, shaking Yato off and stepping away.

"You know…" Kazuma paused as if to collect his thoughts. "Over all the years I've known you, you've always seemed pretty lonely. I'm glad you finally found someone who will stand by you. Let him stand up for you if he cares that much. You've seemed…happier lately."

"I do?" Yato tilted his head and then grinned again. "I guess so."

"Yukine is right, you know," Bishamon said reluctantly. "Shinki are reflections of their masters, so a hafuri can only be granted to a great god. It's a blessing that goes both directions."

"Ohhh? You have such a high opinion of yourself!"

Her eye twitched. "You stupid little–"

"Man, I must be really great! I'm like a hafuri magnet, eh, Kazuma?" Yato smirked and gave Kazuma an exaggerated wink. "You're welcome for that, by the way."

"What?"

"Weeell, Kazuma was willing to give up his life to convince me to help you, and Nora even suggested he give up his name. So technically, I helped you get your hafuri."

"Oh? And who was kicking your ass when Yukine evolved?" Bishamon contested hotly. Yukine hadn't thought of it like that before, but it did seem like Yato and Bishamon were somehow connected through their hafuri despite their healthy rivalry. The war goddess seemed to do a double take and turned on Kazuma. "If he didn't take either of those things, what _was_ the deal you made with him?"

"I did it for free," Yato complained. "Can you believe that?"

Kazuma leveled him with an unimpressed look. "I checked up on him for years and helped him through rough patches."

"Ehhh? Kazuma, I thought that was because we were friends! That stings!"

"Silly god," said Kazuma, but he was smiling.

"Oh, speaking of which!" Yato turned back to Yukine with an exaggerated frown. "Your eyes are all red! And you made a big scene! What should we do?"

Yukine flushed and rubbed at his eyes some more. He didn't want to go back after all of this and face the music, but he knew he had to pull himself together and suck it up. "I can just…"

"Oh well, I guess we'd better just go home."

"H-huh? But you were really looking forward to–!"

The corners of Yato's eyes crinkled as he smiled more gently and ruffled Yukine's hair. "It's not really the colloquy I care about."

"But–"

"Anyway," Yato said brightly, "it would be more fun to hang out with Hiyori, right? And maybe I can convince Daikoku to make us some food!"

"Why don't _you_ make food?"

"But it's his food to start with, so it only makes sense that he should prepare it for us!"

Yukine's eye twitched. "Lazy moocher."

" _Please_ go," Bishamon grumbled. "I can only imagine how long the colloquy would take with you interrupting every ten seconds."

Yato flashed her a toothy grin. "Every _ten_ seconds? You're underestimating me! Don't worry, I'll be sure to come to the next one!"

"You really can stay," Yukine mumbled.

"Nah, that's okay. Come on, kid." Yato ushered Yukine down the hallway, pausing only when Kazuma called after them.

"You really should listen to him," he said. "I think it would do you good."

"Yeah." Yukine poked Yato in the chest. "As your exemplar, I'm saying that you need to realize that you can't be worthless when so many people care about you."

Yato blinked at him blankly, but then grinned in the same way he always did when Yukine gave him exemplar mandates. "Well, you're my exemplar and I trust you, so it must be the right thing to do!"

As always, it warmed something in Yukine's chest, gave him some kind of purpose. He rummaged around in his pocket until his fingers closed around cool metal and handed the five yen coin to Yato.

"Extra insurance," he said.

That finally managed to rattle Yato's façade, and something small and fragile and easily broken shimmered in his eyes as he stared down at the coin in Yukine's palm. And then he snatched up the coin and that flash was gone as quickly as it had come.

"Aw, my kid's even wishing to me now! You're such a cutie!"

He pinched Yukine's cheeks and made a funny face until the shinki slapped his hands away.

"Get off me!"

Yato just laughed, and they waved to Bishamon and Kazuma as they headed outside. Yukine stayed quiet while Yato filled the dead space with his chatter. Thinking.

He had…possibly made a mistake today. He wanted to regret making such a scene and embarrassing himself by pouring out so many words he would never say under normal circumstances, but… But he couldn't quite bring himself to want to take back those words. His master was an idiot, there was no doubt about it, but he was Yukine's blessing as much as Yukine was his. Maybe one day the fool would actually listen.

He was wrenched out of his musings when he noticed that Yato had stopped talking and was now watching him sidelong.

"What?"

One corner of Yato's mouth twitched upwards. "You're entitled to enjoy the praise everyone gives you for being a hafuri without worrying what they say about me. But…thanks, Yukine."

Yukine flushed and looked away, but not before glimpsing a golden glimmer of the coin still wedged tightly in Yato's fingers. "Wh-whatever."

Yato chuckled and draped his arm over Yukine's shoulders, and this time the hafuri didn't push him away. "Let's go home."

* * *

 **Note: I always thought it was kind of interesting that the manga/anime is called "Noragami" when noras are usually treated with such contempt in that world, but it does make a lot of sense when you think about it. Idk, I just think some of the parallels and implications are kind of fun.**

 **Also, Yato and Yukine are just super cute when they're trying to sort of awkwardly address feelings XD I like how only one of them can be serious at a time, half the time lol And it just kills me how Yato can be so offhandedly negative about himself (or other people are) and usually no one will bother to correct him :'( The poor guy internalized so much crap from his father, and someone has to help him out already.**


End file.
